Going Into NaNoWriMo Unprepared
This post is prompted by the madness that is NaNo prep and how I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I didn't think one bit about what this post was about, except that I was going to write about not being prepared. I hope y'all enjoy my rambling thought process!
I'll be honest, I have absolutely no clue how I'm going to pull this year's NaNo off. Never, except with my very first full book, have I ever been this unprepared to write a story in my life. And it kind of freaks me out.
I mean, I have an outline. I have a deep theme that I'm inspired to share with others. I have characters that I absolutely love. I have a basic idea of where it's going to happen. I have just as much of an idea as I usually do, but for some reason I feel like it's not enough. I feel unprepared.
I'm stepping out of my comfortable fantasy world and into the unfamiliar world of dystopian. It's scary and I feel unprepared.
I'm writing this dystopian in a place that already has negative stigma surrounding it and I'm hoping that I reveal a particular beauty about it that people rarely see. I feel unprepared.
I'm about to expose a part of me I don't really want others to see. A wound that hasn't quite healed yet. For one hectic month, I'm going to rip it open over and over again, during the time of year that's already difficult enough for me. I feel unprepared.
Now that I have these realities laid out, I just have to step back and ask myself: am I unprepared or afraid?
Afraid this will be the year that my characters don't listen to me and that my outline fails?
Afraid that my imagination won't stretch enough to build a new world?
Afraid that I don't love in this location enough to paint a beautiful picture on a black canvas?
Afraid that God isn't by my side and won't happily repair what sin has ripped apart time and time again?
These are all complete lies. I know this, so I have only one more question to ask myself: am I really going to stay afraid when I know the truth?
I love my characters and will write them to the best of my abilities. My outline system, while not perfect, has worked in the past and will do so again.
This is exactly how I felt when I wrote The Herbalist's War. I've already built several new worlds after Reylance. I can build another with just as much creativity.
I know the truth of this place and am surrounded by people who know the truth. If I can write what I know, I will be fine.
God is always by my side. He loves me with an everlasting love and He never turns down an opportunity to fix what sin destroys. I'm in good hands.
So now, I have no room for fear. Does this mean I'm not going to still be afraid from time to time? No. I'm human. I'm going to freak out a lot (and y'all will probably have a front row seat to the drama). But now I have a lovely post with all the truths spelled out for me if I forget to remember them.
The only thing left is to go conquer NaNoWriMo, win or lose. Because, either way, I will be okay because I'm going to strive to win the important thing: the battle over fear.
What are you afraid of this NaNo? What are you doing to combat the lies?
Such a powerful post! <3
ReplyDeleteAs for what I fear . . . I guess I just fear that I won’t win. Honestly, I’ve never won NaNo. I’ve never even WRITTEN a story 50,000 words or more long. So I’m doing some things differently this year - but I don’t know if it will be enough.
Good luck with NaNo!
It's totally cool not winning. NaNo, in my mind, is about stretching your abilities as a writer. It's not as much about reaching 50k as it is about growing your skills. So even if you don't reach 50k, know that you still won at NaNo because you gave it a shot and pushed yourself to be a better writer.
DeleteThanks! You too!
I can relate to the whole fear thing. I feel like I'm so unprepared to write my book, and yet, I know that all I can do is to do my best. I honestly don't think I can write 50,000 words for Nano, but my goal is to write as much as I can. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
-Brooklyne
Yep, that's all you can do. Just don't give up, even if you're halfway through the month with only a few words. Just keep going to the end. Whatever the count is at the end will be better than if you didn't try because "you would never reach 50k".
DeleteI felt the same with my first-ever NaNo last year! I so wanna participate this year as well, and I may try, but with my seven-week-old son and the duties of a wife, I'm pretty positive I won't make that awfully high word-count goal. . . And ya know what? I'm TOTALLY okay with that. :] So, take the month of November in stride, m'dear, and tackle those fears head on! You got this!! Will we get to hear more of this dystopian WIP??
ReplyDeleteHey, you've got your priorities straight!! And congrats on the little one (if I've forgotten to say so before)!
DeleteYou will hear more about it soon. It's official announcement to the world will be during the WIP Special (which I'm super excited about! AHHH!).
Thanks! ^__^
DeleteGreat!! Looking forward to that!
Wow. This was so good. I can relate to that fear, definitely. And I admire your openness and honesty. It's brave. Just the other day I finally faced my fear of sharing a WIP on my blog, and I realized that sometimes it's good to tackle those things that make us afraid.
ReplyDeleteGood luck writing this NaNo. I am looking forward to learning more about this WIP of yours--so intriguing! :)
Thanks! I appreciate it. And I'm glad you're learning to face your fears too. That's super courageous of you.
DeleteI'm really excited to share more about it.
I know you can do it, Sarah! I share a lot of these fears and doubts too, and at this moment I don't even really have an outline, so your already doing better on that front.
ReplyDeleteYou've got this!
Hey, you're going to do amazing!! Speaking of NaNo, are you interested in doing Jules's 5-Part Special during November? We have all the questions picked out, you would just have to make the posts.
DeleteFrankly, I'm not afraid. But I think it's because I'm reckless. There's a great difference between charging in because one has no fear, than being afraid but bravely pushing on. And that what makes you powerful...having shades of fear, of doubt, but soldiering on because you have a purpose.
ReplyDeleteThen there's me, rushing headlong into things that I generally can get myself out of...but like I said...a bit reckless, a bit impulsive. I feel like I've got things somewhat under control, and I'm just going to wing the rest of it and roll with what comes.
Thanks! I think...
DeleteThis is such a fantastic post, Sarah. I've never done NaNo but I know it's scary based on the amount of posts talking about it.
ReplyDeleteI've done NaNo four times before, but this one is particularly scary to me because the story is a great deal darker and deals with things I'm not yet over.
DeleteBut you should totally give NaNo a shot at some point. If the regular version is a bit scary to you, you could try Camp NaNo. It's a lot more relaxed and you get to choose what your goal is for the month. And you get to be in a cabin with a bunch of other writers (which is the best part!)!